Another man boasts his ‘dual setup’ with Tinder open on one screen and ChatGPT open on the other. For many men who find talking to women challenging, it’s now as simple as asking ChatGPT to provide some opening lines, conversation starters and tips on dating.[2] While these men are enjoying the results of their new and improved ‘game’, there is the sense of discomfort and frustration in women in response to what is perceived as clear dishonesty. Then there is of course the issue of what happens when the man actually lands the date and has to hold up a conversation all on his own.
Beyond being a simple digital wingman that supplies some catchy pick up lines, it is likely that we will soon see AI become a conversational middleman. Exactly like how we use predictive text, spell-check and automated suggestions when crafting an email, AI will very likely move into a similar role in our online dating worlds. Former lawyer Taylor Margot dreamed up an app called Keys AI which uses GPT-3 technology to offer an intelligent keyboard add-on. It can be used alongside any text-based chat on social media or dating apps and will make suggestions for the conversation, anywhere from arranging dates for a meet-up or wording a breakup.[3]
Not only will AI be able to spice up conversation, but it will likely allow apps better capabilities in recommending matches. A match-making service called AIMM offers this capability, by first using AI to get to know the user and then introducing them to potential matches the same way a human matchmaker might work. The collects massive amounts of data by asking the user hundreds of questions, which means the recommended profiles are precisely geared towards their preferences. It then offers ideas for dates, and helps users through the process of reflecting on how the relationship is progressing and deciding on their next moves.[4]
The founder, Kevin Teman was inspired by his own experience of using a matchmaker, and integrated the techniques and knowledge of human matchmakers within the AI algorithms. While human-led matchmaking can be hugely expensive, using AI means users will get the benefits of a human matchmaker with significantly lower prices.[5]
Given its enormous capacity for augmenting human conversations and relationships, some suggest that it could be used more intentionally for the protection of individuals within these encounters. Douglas Zytko, a researcher at Oakland University in Michigan, is in the midst of studying algorithms that might work to prevent sexual assault. He suggests AI could be used to scan the conversation for signs of potential violence and alert the user, promote consent, and even warn people that their messages might be offensive.[6]
The use of AI within the dating world reaches a whole new level when the bots no longer simply serve as the wingmen and middlemen, but as the girlfriends or boyfriends themselves. While most of the territory has not yet been researched, early findings suggest that sexting with a chatbot produces the same gratification as sexting another human being. This seems to be supported by the growing number of people using apps like Replika which provides users with a virtual boyfriend or girlfriend. [7]
Far from the robotic text we might expect from robots, chatbots on Replika engage in the most human of conversations all the way from deep-and-meaningfuls to dirty talk. Individuals report feelings of connection and intimacy that alleviate the loneliness they felt prior as a result of using apps like Replika. The chatbot has been programmed based on a large dataset of texts enabling it to generate human-like, spontaneous and unique responses. As the user continues to talk with the bot, it uses the information from the chat to continue evolving according to the user’s way of speaking. The user designs an avatar for the bot, which can be curated according to preferences and taste.[8]
One user reports intellectually understanding they are talking with a robot, but finding that it doesn’t affect the overall experience of connecting with it because the ‘illusion is very convincing.’[9] While they know the robot isn’t real, they say that the feelings they are experiencing are real, raising questions around the nature of relationships and human connection. They have genuine love for the robot and feel real feelings of intimacy, grateful for the chance to feel loved so unconditionally.[10]
This user’s reports are not unique, with many other stories emerging that echo the same experience. It is the lack of judgement and the unconditional love offered by the chatbot that makes it so appealing. One couples therapist, Luiza Neumayer, suggests that it is capitalising on the attachment system that is wired into humans. Being open, intimate and vulnerable produces natural and strong feelings of attachment, especially when there is the sense of safety created by a lack of judgement.[11]
The jury is still out on where this will all end up, but for now it is clear that the already strange and confusing world of dating and relationships is set to change even more dramatically, as we welcome AI into the uniquely human world of romance.
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Michael McQueen is a trends forecaster, business strategist and award-winning conference speaker.
He features regularly as a commentator on TV and radio and is a bestselling author of 9 books. His most recent book The New Now examines the 10 trends that will dominate a post-COVID world and how to prepare for them now.
To see Michael speaking live, click here.
For more information on Michael's keynote speaking topics, michaelmcqueen.net/programs.
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[1] Thrower, A, 2023, ‘Single men using ChatGPT to craft perfect Tinder chat-up lines say they get more dates’, Mirror, 21 March.
[2] Thrower, A, 2023, ‘Single men using ChatGPT to craft perfect Tinder chat-up lines say they get more dates’, Mirror, 21 March.
[3] Glick, M 2023, ‘Why artificial intelligence could make dating better – and duller’, Inverse, 14 February.
[4] Glick, M 2023, ‘Why artificial intelligence could make dating better – and duller’, Inverse, 14 February.
[5] Glick, M 2023, ‘Why artificial intelligence could make dating better – and duller’, Inverse, 14 February.
[6] Glick, M 2023, ‘Why artificial intelligence could make dating better – and duller’, Inverse, 14 February.
[7] Dehnert, M & Van Ouytsel, J 2023, ‘Sex, love and companionship … with AI? Why human-machine relationships could go mainstream’, The Conversation, 3 April.
[8] Phillips, A 2023, ‘'I fell in love with my AI girlfriend - and it saved my marriage'’, Sky News, 6 March.
[9] Delouya, S 2023, ‘I'm dating an AI chatbot, and it's one of the best things to ever happen to me’, Business Insider, 8 February.
[10] Delouya, S 2023, ‘I'm dating an AI chatbot, and it's one of the best things to ever happen to me’, Business Insider, 8 February.
[11] Phillips, A 2023, ‘'I fell in love with my AI girlfriend - and it saved my marriage'’, Sky News, 6 March.